Holidays....

I absolutely hate holidays..... New Years, my birthday (I'm aware it isn't a holiday, but I hate it anyways), valentine's day, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and I guess Halloween too..... St. Patty's day and 4th of July aren't so bad as that isn't a "family" oriented holiday. It just reminds me of how alone I am. Yeah I have my family that always celebrates, but I get really lonely. Everyone in my family has someone but me..... and then, they go to their respective peoples parents, and I'm stuck with a family that I don't really feel comfortable with. I just don't really fit in there. I was like 5 when I was introduced into that family, but I still feel uneasy.... I like the holidays for food and presents, and the lack of school... period... that's it..... I like family time, when the time is split between my siblings.... I don't really like spending time with all of them together..... It always ends with someone in tears, most often me..... They don't do it on purpose.... hell they might not even know that they do it...... but it happens..... so... to reiterate... I hate the holidays.....

I've been cured.....

of my completely utterly ridiculous obsession with love..... It really doesn't exist.... its just really convenience...... someone to help pay the pills.... someone to keep you warm at night..... someone to raise the kids when your off sleeping with someone else...... yep.... total and utter convenience..... Love has just gone out the windows with santa claus and magic and unicorns...... dragons and my happiness too...... things of fairy tales..... myths and ledgends...... If people thought I was pessimistic before..... there is a whole new can of worms that has just been opened...... good thing its next to the alcoholic beverages..... because that is the only way I'm making it through life......

Nine performances later.....

Camelot.... was amazing..... I met the most wonderful people.... and a few people who were not nice and most likely compulsive liars..... ok just one..... We had strike today..... which means we took apart the set and put everything away..... We were discussing what play to do in spring, and I'm thinking a lot of the same cast will try out..... I may ask to be stage manager instead of actually being in the play... I'm not a terribly good actress..... and it seems I am doomed to get a cold whenever I need to perform something..... I'm hoping it is gone by friday, as I have a choir concert! O well... anyways.... Camelot pulled in almost completely full houses, actually having to add another show time.... So.... in total we had 9 performances.... and I'm sad it has to be done.... I don't see a lot of these people outside of the play.... Sure some are in choir, but I'm actually going to have to make an effort to see them! I hate efforts! oh well..... But I guess I need to do some resting..... as I have this ridiculous cold.... cough, runny and stuffy nose, sneezing, and scratchy throat.... boo......

I wish it was 1993 again....

Last week.... or maybe it was two weeks ago.... I don't know..... A few people from the Camelot cast were talking and old TV shows came up.... I started talking about this show that I absolutely loved..... Princess Gwenevere and the jewel riders.... I saw it exactly 2 times, but I was so enthralled with it that I remember the theme song (well a part of it anyways).... Everyone thought it was funny that I knew that over fraggle rock..... I could have sworn up and down that I had never seen a fraggle rock episode in my life..... but then, tonight on Adult Swim, Robot Chicken did a Fraggle Rock/Watership Down sketch..... and the fraggle rock stuff looked really familiar..... so I youtubed it.... and it looked WAY familiar.... so I assume now that I've seen an episode, just didn't find it that great....so I started youtubing all the old theme songs to shows I used to watch.... care bears, rainbow brite, princess gwenevere (et al.), she ra, fraggle rock, mighty max..... it made me wish that is all i had to worry about was if max was going to escape the danger...... I remember laying in my mom's bed, in the morning before school, drinking hot chocolate watching mighty max..... boooooooo adult life.....